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You are here: Home / In Life / Slow Living / The First Step to Finding Joy

June 14, 2017 by Angela

The First Step to Finding Joy

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”  Henri Nouwen

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

I love these quotes from Henri Nouwen and the Dalai Lama. They seem to be saying two things:

  1. finding joy and happiness are possible and all around us,
  2. we determine if we have joy or not. We need to be actively choosing joy, not passively waiting to “feel” joy. Our daily actions matter when it comes to whether we have joy in our lives.

Okay, okay, that’s all well and good, but how do we choose joy? How do we create happiness?

First Step to Finding Joy

“Spark Joy”

I started 2017 with the word of “spark joy” it was because I had a revelation at dinner with my family. My sons were surprised (and honestly looked a little worried) when I was laughing with them at the dinner table.

It wasn’t a polite “I’m half listening” laugh, nor was it a polite “I have no idea what you’re referring to” laugh. I genuinely thought my son’s impressions were funny and reacted with joy.

It hit me that my children don’t see their mom joyful or lighthearted. It is such a rare thing that they react with surprise and wonder what’s happening when I do. It saddened me.

I also realized that I am pretty rusty at knowing what “sparks joy” in me and those around me.

The First Step

It’s June now  – six months later  – and I’ve realized that there’s an important first step in this finding joy process. It starts with awareness. It starts with observing how you feel in situations. It starts with curiosity.

Some people might advise jumping into new activities and challenges. For some people that might be the right choice. I have tried that too since the beginning of the year. There’s a better first step though.

For those of us who feel like we’ve been going through the motions for a long time and unaware of what we’re actually feeling while we’re doing our daily activities – gentle awareness is going to be our first step. 

For those of us with rusty joy meters, we just need to get back to our five senses and grow in awareness of how things feel to us as we do them.

finding joy in the beach

 

Things that Bring Me Joy

Since I’ve been gently observing and making note of how things feel as I do them, here are some things that bring me joy:

  • reading fiction in bed late at night and early in the morning
  • based on true life movies
  • drinking piping hot coffee in the morning while staring out of the window
  • the beach
  • sunsets
  • waking up while it’s still dark
  • sunrises
  • taking a solo silent retreat once a year
  • yoga
  • writing
  • podcasts

Bringing Awareness to Your Life

I heard from readers that they too had “rusty” joy meters when I shared my word of the year. I suspect that this is going to be a common feeling, especially for parents of young ones. There are a lot of daily tasks that need to be done whether it brings joy or not.

That’s true, friend. HOWEVER…here’s what I want to challenge you to do.

As you are doing these daily tasks (dishes, changing diapers, cooking meals, transporting kids, and all the other 101 things you do within your day), pause and check in with yourself on your physical and emotional reactions.

Do you feel upset? Tight in the shoulders? Relaxed? Tired? Numb? Happy?

Every time you feel content or happy, I want you to document it in some way. I started a list on my phone and my planner. Do whatever works for you. They don’t have to be big things. They can be, but they don’t have to be.

We can choose joy on a daily basis…but the first step is knowing what brings us joy in the first place. Growing in our awareness by pausing and writing down the things that bring us joy in our everyday tasks and activities is the first step in creating a life of happiness.

What brings joy to you? I’d love to know in the comments!

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Did you choose one word for the year? Are you letting it guide you? Here's how I'm living my one word in 2017

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About Angela

Wife. Mom to three boys. Writer. Reader. Aspiring Minimalist. Lover of chocolate and fitness. She loves blogging about the ways she is finding success in simplifying life one step at a time. Her mantra is "Progress, not Perfection."

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Comments

  1. Melinda Mitchell says

    June 14, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    Hugs and kisses to and from my grandbabies!! Carving out a piece of pretty, in my still chaotic from moving room!
    Singing praises to the Lord!

    • Angela says

      June 14, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      That’s a great list Melinda!!

  2. Kelly Jones says

    June 16, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Awareness is key! There are so many distractions in this digital world. And on that note I’m going to put my phone down for the night!

    • Angela says

      June 23, 2017 at 6:26 pm

      Sounds good Kelly! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. GoalsbyIna says

    June 17, 2017 at 12:56 am

    Such a great list with reasons for joy, Angela! For me, I would love to add “Cuddling with my cat” on that list 🙂

    • Angela says

      June 23, 2017 at 6:27 pm

      That’s a good one Ina! My cats bring me joy too.

  4. Michele Morin says

    June 24, 2017 at 8:22 am

    I’m so captivated by the idea of joy as a “spark.” What a great word choice for 2017! Blessings to you as you live your way into it!

    • Angela says

      June 30, 2017 at 12:19 pm

      Thank you Michele! Wishing you daily joy!

  5. Sarah Koontz says

    June 27, 2017 at 10:23 am

    I love the idea of a rusty joy meter. It’s so true! We’ve got to clean it out and practice awareness. Thanks for the important reminder.

    • Angela says

      June 30, 2017 at 12:19 pm

      You’re so welcome Sarah. I’m glad that this resonated with you. Thank you for reading and commenting

  6. Bethany Hutson says

    June 27, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    I love, love, love this. Awareness is so important, and often something we are so greatly lacking!

    • Angela says

      June 30, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      Thanks Bethany! I’m so glad that this resonated with you. Wishing you awareness and daily joy!

  7. Fridgesays says

    July 1, 2017 at 2:13 am

    Yes to this! Joy is essential to our wellbeing. Isn’t it odd that the simple things always make us the happiest x

    • Angela says

      July 3, 2017 at 10:34 am

      Thank you for the enthusiastic agreement! 🙂 It is odd that the simple things make us the happiest – but also so encouraging. Happiness then is accessible to us all, if we just recognize and allow ourselves to experience it!

Hi Friend! I’m Angela

Welcome to my blog where I write about simplifying life in small, manageable steps and creating healthy habits. You'll find inspiration, practical tips and community here for the decluttering you're doing in your own life. (whether that's physical, mental, or emotional clutter) Thanks so much for stopping by! Read More…

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