Setting My Intention

Clearing Clutter. Finding Joy. Living Slow

You are here: Home / At Home / Decluttering Your Home / How Hospitality is a Gift…to a Slob like Me.

by

How Hospitality is a Gift…to a Slob like Me.

The Reluctant Hostess

I have a dear friend who is flying in next week for one night for a business meeting. She needed a place to stay and asked about nearby hotels. I offered her a place at our house. She gratefully accepted.

I wish I could say that I immediately asked her to stay with us. I wish I could say I was filled with instant enthusiasm at the idea of hosting…but I wasn’t.

I was thrilled at the chance to see her, but I quickly scanned the house in my mind. Here were some of my thoughts:

  • “Is the house in a guest worthy state?” (the answer is no, not yet)
  • “Where would she sleep? Will she be comfortable on the futon…or one of the twin size beds?”
  • “We have gotten rid of a lot of things, but not enough. The place still looks cluttered.”

The truth is, our house is still in progress. We have cleared a lot of clutter, but with 5 people who are constantly bringing things into the house more than out – there are always many things lying around.

Things aren’t put back in their “home.”  The habit of putting things in their designated places is not fully developed in any of us. I could follow my sons around picking up all the little and big things they leave lying on the floor, but then they wouldn’t learn to take responsibility for their things…and I would drive myself batty.

Are you a reluctant hostess? Me too. How I'm viewing #hospitality as a gift and not a burden. #reluctanthostess Click To Tweet

How Hospitality is a gift

Our House Isn’t a Mess, It’s…Relaxed

Our family is comfortable with messes, or as we like to think of it, relaxed. Neither my husband or I are super concerned with small piles here and there for the short term…except when a guest is scheduled to come over. Only then do we finally see and deal with the piles of things that we’ve been blind to for several weeks…or months.

How Hospitality is a Gift

Hospitality for an evening or a night, offers our family the opportunity to get our home “guest ready.”

  • It offers us an opportunity to look at and deal with the piles that we have been ignoring.
  • It offers us the opportunity to clear flat surfaces and make the sinks shiny.
  • It offers us the opportunity to work as a team to straighten and clean.
  • It offers us the opportunity to see people face to face – a rare gift in this high-tech age.

We used to host a weekly small group meeting in our home for our local church. We were always scrambling around straightening and cleaning the night before, but it was always so rewarding. Not only was the clutter dealt with and the basic areas of the home clean, it was always a joy to gather together with friends. Hosting every week meant that the house didn’t slide too far along into “clutterdom” before the next gathering.

We haven’t hosted a group for a few years, but we have started implemented a weekly 5 minute pick up at the end of the week.  This makes a huge difference in our weekend and starting the week off right.

How to Get Your House Guest Ready

Nony at A Slob Comes Clean has a great post on how to clean a messy house and get it ready for guests. One great point she makes is to focus on the rooms that your guests will actually be using. I can definitely get distracted and want to clean out a closet or the basement when I really need to be cleaning the bathrooms and the guest room (that the boys have overtaken).

Need to get your house and heart ready for guests? Here's a tip to remember #hospitality Click To Tweet

As I was chastising myself for the house not being guest ready all the time, I could hear the absurdity in my thinking. My dear friend is not coming to inspect my house. She is coming to spend time with me. I had a choice – I could spend all my time being self-conscious and fretting about the cleanliness of our house, or I could do my best to clean the main areas before she arrives, and then be truly present with her during her short stay. I choose the latter!

How hospitality is a gift

Are you a reluctant hostess? How do you get your house and heart guest ready?

This post will be shared at these link ups.

Comments

  2. Yes me! See me raising my hand 🙂 because I get really stressed out about the food part. We eat plain meals and making food for extra people is beyond my skills. I do love how guests prompt you to clean up a little more. The house then feels so relaxing when they are there.

  3. We have guests all. the. time. and my piles NEVER get cleaned up. I know my guests notice, but I don’t think most of them care. Sure, they’d love to visit in a house without any piles, but I think that thought takes up about one/one thousandth of their thoughts about the evening, weekend, or day. Lydia sent this to me recently and said she thought of me, ” I am a Mom. My house is always loud and messy but that’s Ok. One day it will be quiet and spotless and lonely.” I hope it’s never lonely but maybe as my kids get older I can get it a little more in order. Enjoy reading about you working to bring order to your home, Angela!!

    • Thanks Angie! Such a good word about a house with kids being loud and messy- signs of life, yes? Thanks for that encouragement – you are a great hostess, focusing on what is most important!Thank you for following along on the journey!

  4. My husband and I joke (sort of joke) about needing to invite someone over so we actually clean up. We leave the piles and things like that until we “have to” a lot of the time as well. And we throw a couple major parties a year that help us plan when to do our deep cleaning as well 🙂

  5. What a great quote! It is best to be present with that person than worrying about your house, I agree. I used to clean before people got to my house, then clean when they left and clean a few days later again but I would stress myself out. I have become much more relaxed in my cleaning schedule now and our house is lived in, as it should be! Thanks for sharing this wonderful post!

  6. AH, we are the same about the piles here and there. Not messy either, but not too worried about a little pile at all. I am all for a relaxed cleaning schedule and I bet anyone would understand, because, aren’t we all kind of the same!
    Great post and great quote!

  7. I go through phases of loving my ‘lived in’ house and wanting to get it all done. We’ve lived here 22 years and it’s still not finished haha! But you know, I will never be one of those people who live in a show home, and actually I’m happy with that x

  9. I am definitely a reluctant hostess but mainly because I’m an introvert and love my alone time. Well, my child is there but she is a pre-teen now so you know how that goes. But for guests, I do clean up the entire place because I would be horrified if they walked into an unkempt space. But I do recognize the need to not stress over this. Great post!

  10. I’m always an eager hostess but I kill myself trying to make my house look “just so” and it drives my husband crazy. I love what you said about people not coming to see your house but to see YOU and about being fully present when they’re there. This challenged me to work on these areas! Thanks!

  11. I’m a super tidy person and my homes are guest ready 90% of the time. When it’s just me, I can’t help but allow my OCD to come out. With that said, when I VISIT people or stay with people, I don’t have the same expectations for their homes as I do my own…and that’s not meant in a mean way. Obviously I don’t want to stay somewhere and have it look like they haven’t cleaned the bathroom in a month, but the clutter doesn’t get to me like it does in my own space. It’s strange.

    • Hi Katie! I would love to be guest ready 90% of the time! But alas, it’s not a reality at this stage of our lives. I can see how you wouldn’t have the same expectations for others as you do your own home. Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate hearing from you.

  12. Love that last quote! I have been thinking a LOT lately about this from a Biblical perspective, and about how in that time it was common for people to travel from home to home and rely on the hospitality of others. I want to be able to offer that! We host a teen small group on Wednesdays in our home and even today things are a MESS but not only will we enjoy our time with the kids tonight it will force me to get things in order… at least once a week things are mostly clean this way, ha! 🙂

    • I understand Branson! Hosting weekly meetings are a great way to keep order. I bet those teens wouldn’t even notice if you didn’t clean. In my hospitality I want to strive to make people feel cared for while they’re in our home and not worry as much about how things look.

  13. You have chosen the best part. You became a Mary and not a Martha.

    Now Martha’s have wonderful skills, are more disciplined, have developed exquisite menus and decorating talents BUT Martha’s do not know how to relax, embrace life, live in the Spirit and now moments. Mary’s do! In reading your blog I felt like we were ‘kindred spirits’ (Anne of Green Gables) and had done similar things, I have often used the word “relaxed” also. Hugs! From another S.H.E. Sidetracked Home Executive!!! I am in the battle of my life to conquer this clutter and “tidy up”! You inspire me and I relish what our homes will become!! Havens where hospitality is our gift and where people will come to relax, enjoy and breathe. We are on a job, which does not come first hand or naturally to us. The cleaning up part. The other one of being hospitable – gee, add some more broth and water to stretch the meals, set an extra plate or 2 or 12 or 13! Pop a bed up, move this around voila a place to sleep.

    We recognize the need for cleanliness, order and joy in our home from things being in their places and our lives decluttered. We will marry the two. We will finish this Marathon!

    I was on a recent trip and so looked forward to touching bases with old friends, several who were traveling, so whether they would be there was up in the air. However, I was floored at their inability to be hospitable, for even one meal, or one night! Even though when their needs in the past were often met by me, cluttered home but open heart. I had several heart to hearts w/ my Lord. And realized He had no place to lay His Head, and when He came for dinner He brought at least 12. Who made room for him? Mary (gave Him devotion),Lazarus (gratefulness)& Martha (who fussed about it) & Yeshua/Jesus corrected her! He truly is our High Priest, well accustomed to our wounds, and ways!

    • Mimi thanks so much for your sweet, encouraging, and insightful comment. I’m rereading Anne of Green Gables right now! It is always so nice to “meet” someone who can also say “me too” to your struggles (and joys).

  15. Great post. A woman after my own heart and the same initial panic when guests are on there way. Some really good tips there, thank you. Your neighbour at Sunday’s Down Under this week.

Affiliate Disclosure

This website may include affiliate links. These companies pay a small commission to me for sharing their products and services at no additional cost to you.

Disclosure

All information on this blog is from the author’s experience and is not intended to be professional advice. When using ideas from this blog, readers should use common sense and caution.

Amazon Associates

Setting My Intention participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate ad program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Copyright

Copyright Setting My Intention 2018. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share content from this website with a reference to the website and link back to the original page or post.