We stood on the corner waiting for the yellow school bus. It was 6:50 am. His blue backpack looked too big for his small 7 year old frame. He was getting on a school bus for the very first time. My heart was beating a little faster, my breath was a little shallow – I was feeling nervous. What are the benefits of firsts I quietly asked myself?
I’ve been thinking a lot about firsts lately. September tends to feel like a brand new start when you have children who are school age. This will be my youngest son’s third new school in his fourth year of attending school. There will be new teachers, new students, new protocols to learn.
This will be the first year our older two boys will be taking public transportation both ways to and from school. We used to drive them in the mornings most of the way, but we’re trying to give them more responsibility and allow them to do things independently when they are able. They’re able to take public transportation. They’re able to wake up by an alarm clock (versus being dragged out of bed by a parent).
The Anxiety of Firsts
These “firsts” have brought up a lot of anxiety.
“How do I set my alarm!!”
“What if I’m late for school?”
“What if you’re not there when the bus drops me off?”
“What if my son doesn’t make any new friends?”
We’ve had to patiently answer questions repeatedly. We’ve had to review public transportation maps, timelines, and route options. We’ve had to reassure that we would be where we said we would be – that they would not be left. I’ve had to reassure myself that friendships will come and to pray instead of worry.
The Benefits of Firsts
These firsts have brought a sense of accomplishment. My son taking public transportation both ways has been a way for him to work through his anxiety. He came home the first day stating that everything went smoothly and that his worst scenarios didn’t happen. That’s important for him to experience in as many ways as we can orchestrate.
These first have brought a lot of excitement too. My youngest son is actually excited to ride a school bus for the long morning and afternoon commute. When we decided to send our youngest son to a new school this year, we knew it would have to be to a private school since he didn’t get into any of the charter schools we had applied to. We toured different programs and sent him on different shadow days. It opened our eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.
Our first time at the Grand Canyon with my mom and sisters.
My son would quietly reflect on how different the private schools were from his public school classrooms after spending a day shadowing. He shared how the private school environments made him feel and act differently. When he was accepted and the scholarship package was generously offered, we gratefully accepted this “first” for our son. This first promised smaller classrooms, nurtured and nurturing teachers, time in nature, and resources.
Firsts are uncomfortable, but they are opportunities for growth.
Firsts allow us to expand our vision of who we are and what we can do.
Our family never considered private schools as an option until two years ago. We were “public school” advocates, learning the system and fighting for our children to get in to the best or good schools within the city. I never let myself consider any other option.
My story isn’t advocating private school versus public school – that decision is a personal choice that I know families consider very carefully for each of their children. My story is to encourage you to consider options that you may not even know about right now – when it comes to schools for your children and any other area of life.
I used to say that I wasn’t a runner, because I had never enjoyed running. When I was 41 I started running – and enjoying it. I ran my first 5k in October 2013 and my first 10 mile run in May 2015. I had to declutter my negative thoughts and approach life with curiosity and a willingness to be open to “firsts.”
RELATED: Decluttering Negative Self Talk
As I watch my sons approach their own firsts with a little fear and a lot of courage and excitement, I’m asking myself what “firsts” I’ll take on this Fall.
PIN IT FOR LATER:
How about you? Let me know in the comments if you’ve experienced a “first” this Fall. I’d love to know!
READ THIS NEXT:
Thank you for this, Angela. I am grateful for how understanding my family has been and continues to be, as I approach “firsts” during transitional times in my own life. The “firsts” you describe seem to be supported by a matrix of encouragement, understanding and helpful practical strategies….lots of communication!
Today I went with a friend to an exercise class called Body Pump involving weights, which I had never done before. Like your sons, previous experiences provided an “on ramp” to process new processes and sensations with a measure of assurance. Growth doesn’t occur in a vacuum, does it. 🙂
I loved body pump when I was a member of the Y Peg! I’ve been excited for you and your firsts. I know it hasn’t been easy – but definitely provides opportunities to grow.
Hooray for firsts! One thing I love about being a mom of 6 is the number of firsts that I get a front-row seat to!
#happynowlinkup
Mom of 6! That is a lot of firsts! I agree that it is a privilege (nerve wracking sometimes!) to have a front row seat to their firsts.
Love your idea that firsts are a way to grow and that is so true! Thanks for sharing at #BloggersPitStop with us today.
Thank you Sue!
firsts are always something to be celebrated, but only having one child,I’m also cognizant of the fact that each of these first will only happen once, that they are a last first time, if that makes any sense #fridayfriviolity
That is bittersweet for your firsts to also be lasts at the same time. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this. It is really important to step outside of your comfort zone both as a parent and as a child. I know that it is really difficult, but I do believe that it is really beneficial. Well done. Pen x #KCACOLS
Agreed Pen – firsts are difficult, but so beneficial!
This is lovely. There really is something fun and exciting about those first isn’t there?! #happynowlinkup
Yes! I just did my first FB Live Jen and it was scary but exciting too!
One of my firsts this year?? Ummm, don’t have one in the plans yet. I need to think on that!
Its easy not to have firsts as we get older Melinda. It takes some curiosity and initiative to think of firsts that we would enjoy trying!
I would love to hear more about your sons experience of private school, and your reasons for choosing private? if you wanted to share. It is an interesting topic.
Thanks so much for linking up at #kcacols. Hope you come back again next time.
Congrats to your son for being accepted into a new school — the process of finding the right school is stressful and it can be disappointing when you don’t get into a school you wanted to. Riding the bus on their own will make them more independent! #KCACOLS
It was really stressful – we have to do it quite a bit living in the city. Our neighborhood school isn’t one we’d choose to put our child in so we’ve had to apply to charters which are lottery based. Since we knew that getting in to the charters was probably going to be slim, private schools were our main option. We were lucky to find one that “fit” our youngest and will help him grow in many different ways. Thanks for asking.
We started school this fall with our oldest and I can definitely relate to all these feelings!
Thanks for sharing Hannah! First day of school ever is a huge first! Hope it went well. 🙂
This is so lovely. Firsts are definitely something to celebrate and be proud of. Interesting read, lovely. #KCACOLS
This is so true, firsts are scary but definitely there to help us grow. And how proud do we feel once we’ve accomplished what we set out to do?! Thank you for linking this to #DreamTeam!
Love your take on firsts 🙂 If we don’t take that first step, we’ll never know where we could have ended up! #KCACOLS
I like the thought about decluttering minds to allow ourselves new firsts ?#dreamteam
firsts can be very existing, my first in 2017 would be travelling a lone with a baby. Looking forward to see what firsts the future has in store for me #KCACOLS
Firsts do set us on great paths don’t they
#KCACOLS
What a lovely perspective on firsts. It is all about mindset, isn’t it?